My Dear Pak Lah

My Favourite Comic

Pak Lah, you know, hor, we Malaysians are very cham already. We all lub you, we all know you are doing your very best.
What to do, hor? The Americans, the british, the japs, the chins and the khiling, disturb our economy only. They don’t want to invest in our place, hor. They say we don’t know how to do business, we only kasi naik harga barang only.
I know it is not true, you got many ma-chai to take care, hor and all want to be putera-putera and puteri-puteri, so difficult to take care, hor.

You know, ah, pak lah, we know you really, really work very, very hard, sampai you look so sleeping everyday, people just don’t know.
You have to take care of the whole Malaysia, we all know you cannot leave your ma-chai alone, basket, they will all steal us bankrupt, hor.
Some more, hor, you have to play tat-tat with you lovely wife, hor. At your age, please take care, hor. Don’t hurt you back, okay.

I know actually, hor, you are a very nice person, you know, hor, in the last erection I actually wanted you but when I went to the polling station, so many people said you are not good lah, I was so confused, so I just hantam saja. I simply cross and made a prayer for you. I actually forgot how to vote as you say. So sorry, hor.

Aiya, the Sabah monkeys making a lot of noise again, hor.
The WWF also cannot do anything, you know or not. I think you can control them, kan? You already give them some peanuts, see all of them sokong you now, kan?
Aiya, still got one, wants to bite you, what you want to do, ha? I don’t know if you can hantam him with the ACA and bring him to court with your ma-chai now.
You see, hor, your ma-chai is not very clever, lost so many big-big cases already, kan.
I think never mind, lah. There are only two of them but be careful, hor, I think you should give them bigger peanuts, you know like the coconut, okay? Hopefully they choked, then we can have another erection, nice kan?

You know, ha, you must trust me because I am your fren and I am very good, I don’t talk about ketuanan, I love all kinds of religions because I don’t know how to choose, I love all kinds of people because I swing both ways, see, you must trust me lor.
You know or not, your other people’s son is very sneaky, hor. Maybe he only married your daughter because of you, so be careful, ha. You can trust me wan, because I am the cham people, mah.

You know or not, ha, people said your deputy and his wife did very nasty thing, I pun takut to say it here. You know, ha, people also say, his ministry buy goods also at very high price, something like Maggie for the price of Kancil. You know, hor, it is no good for your nice image.
Aiya, how to get rid of him, ha, he also got very very strong backing from someone who left your office. Aiya, really susah, hor? I am still cracking my head, to help you, no promise, ha.

Aiya, your ma-chai are really susah lah, all they want are project-project saja.
All your bajet also have to go to them, somemore not enough, have to increase somemore for them in your plan.
So susah, hor. I really pity you, your kepala pun pening.
You must take care of your health, pak lah. They say gingko and viagra are good for people of your age, you must try some, ha.
See, I am always on you side, not like those smart ass ma-chai, always want to kachau saja, hor. They say you flip-flop like an acrobat, you cannot decide.
But I know, what to decide, hor? Must know only how to distribute the money, kan?

You must help cham people like us, can ha? People say you got plenty power, you can give plenty money to your ma-chai to keep them quiet. You must be very powerful, hor. Can you help cham people like us by reduce the tax, get rid of the toll, reduce the car price, protect our savings, reduce the barang barang price, can or not, ha?
I hope you can, because your ma-chai say you are very powerful and you can do anything, wan. Thank you, hor.